Here, look a free game: www.checkurself.org.uk/game
Okay, okay, this is less Call of Duty, and more Carrot of Duty, but when a game combines shooting ikkle bitty bunny wabbits with drugs, while you watch them bump uglies, you gotta play it at least once. Sure, you’ll get confused as to the reasons you’re playing it, but the real value here is the message, straight from the NHS’ checkurself campaign.
It’s about something that affects us all (well, apart from the real hardcore gamers), namely SEX! Bonking, f**king, shagging, doinking, love stabbing, making nookie, intercourse, chunk-dunking, humping, making bacon, coitus, you know… sex.
Okay, you’ve had the interesting bit, now for the PSA…
So what’s the deal then? Well, if you’ve ever had sex in London, with a Londoner or with someone who calls themselves a Londoner, (but is actually from Croydon or Slough, and is just pretending in order to look cool), there’s a reasonably high chance that you have Chlamydia. London’s full of it, apparently. 1 in 10 between the ages of 16 and 24 have it, according to the NHS.
No, really. And the worst part – it can be almost entirely symptomless. 1 in 4 people (it affects both sexes) don’t show any symptoms. Of course, you’ll bloody know about it if it does flair up, but for those cases without an immediate effect, it can linger, and cause sterility and a whole bunch of other stuff that – trust me – you really don’t want. Illnesses that contain the words ‘rectal’ or ‘discharge’ are never fun. Even less so when they contain both. That’s medicine 101, right there.
The easiest way to combat it? Well, if you’re under 24, get a FREE test kit from the NHS’ checkurself scheme. It gets posted to your door, you pee in a pot, or whatever, you send it back again – FREEPOST – and you wait a couple of days for the result. Apart from anything else, when are you ever going to get the opportunity to legally send your own piss to a government department ever again? I did it just for shits and giggles – and I haven’t had sex since September 1999 (I only got that much out of pity, I’m sure).
Seriously though, get it done. It’s ridiculously easy and if you don’t you could be setting yourself up for some pretty nasty long-term problems. And while you wait, you can try to beat my high score: 780pts.
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