Normally, I would research a title like this. Indeed, it might not seem like it but there’s a fair amount of footwork that goes into each of these reviews. Trouble is that when a game is so unutterably crap, it simply doesn’t warrant any more of anyone’s time than has already gone into it. Yeah, MegaUP: Upload if you can!, despite being some kind of political statement simply isn’t worth playing. In fact, it’s not even worth reading this review. Seriously, there must be something else you can do with your time.
If you’re still reading it either means you’re an idiot or just want to know why it’s so bad. I’ll give it to you as swiftly as possible, then you might be able to tear yourself away and get on with your life. Basically it’s a one-button effort where you are being chased by the ‘Internet SWAT’ for uploading something illegal. The one button jumps and you have to avoid obstacles such as other SWAT vans and barricades with “SOPA” written on them. Yes, very topical. Trouble is that not only is this boring in the extreme, but it’s also a little broken.
Still reading? Really? Well, I guess you want more reasons to hate it then. As well as the visuals (which aren’t terrible, I have to say) being weirdly out of perspective so that jumping them is a complete pig, sometimes the collision detection goes haywire and you wind up dying. Of course, for most people this is something of a blessing, but if you have to review it, it makes life somewhat less worth living than it was previously. Similarly, there are icons to collect, but frankly who cares, and sometimes the collision fails again and you can’t pick them up.
Look, this is the last paragraph, so if you’re still reading, I guess you’re in it to the end. Here it is straight: don’t buy this game. Sure it’s only cheap, but it also shit. It’s one of the few games that has had an net negative impact on my life. Usually I can get something positive out of it, but in this instance, I just wish it had never come into my life.
Maybe I’m missing something here, but it seems ridiculous to make a statement about the dubious nature of copyright law and whatnot when you’re doing it with something that no-one would ever want to download, even if it were free. If anything, this has made me more in favour of SOPA and its ilk.
REVIEW CODE: A complimentary Microsoft Xbox 360 code was provided to Brash Games for this review. Please send all review code enquiries to email@example.com.
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