Cute Things Dying Violently is a puzzle platformer à la Lemmings. It’s difficulty is well-balanced and the puzzles are almost as creative and diverse as in Braid. He did not just compare this silly game to Braid, did he? No no, I wouldn’t dare, but I have to admit that most of the 60 puzzles in this game are surprisingly smart.
In this game you are in control of cute little critters. Fluffy, blood-filled furballs. You can drag them around or sling them into the air. By the end of it all, you have to save at least one critter by getting him into the elevator, sometimes having to sacrifice other critters by feeding them to a buzzsaw or throwing them on spikes to achieve that.
Let me tell you the story of one of those brave heroes who sacrificed their life in order to save the others. His name is Jeffrey. Jeffrey had pretty normal childhood, he graduated from critter college where he studied digital media management and met his girlfriend Charlotte. I honestly have no I idea how, but he got into the following situation: Charlotte and him are trapped on a platform, buzzsaws and spikes everywhere, the elevator that promises rescue from this desperate situation is closed and only a button on the wall will open it’s doors. Beneath the button? You know it: Spikes. Without much thinking, Jeffrey slams himself against that button. The elevator door opens while Jeffrey’s body is pierced and a lot of blood and guts start gushing out of him. This is how he saved Charlotte, the love of his life, who jumps on the elevator and flees the scene (you might think that’s kind of dicky move, but at least she didn’t leave Leonardo in the freezing cold water while sitting on a huge piece of wood – pun not intended).
You get a lot for little money if you decide to get this game. You not only get the 60 pre-designed levels, you also get a level editor and the whole Steam-Workshop deal, so if a community starts to really get into this, you might just about never run out of challenging levels, just like the Counter Strike Community never runs out of shooting ranges. As of right now though, the community just about only shares screenshots of the admittedly really funny texts that are appearing in the game.
Which is kind of disappointing, since the level-editor of this game is probably the most user-friendly I have ever used, and it is actually a lot of fun to get your hands on creating a few puzzles for your peers.
The whole design of the game is fun to look at, although the difference between graphics and collision boxes is quite notable from time to time, which may lead to annoyed frowning on your part. The music is as you would expect it for a game like this and is going to grind your gears after a while, but hey, there is a mute button, so you can also play this game while listening to Slipknot.
You may wonder why a game like this is not just put on the mobile devices of gamers, since optically and gameplay-wise it is reminiscent of titles like Cut The Rope. But since the developer ApathyWorks uses the same price policy on Steam as they probably would for mobile (it’s just HOWEVER MANY POUNDS THAT IS after all) and they deliver a whole package of content that would be unmanageable on your phone and tablet, it is an absolutely valid PC-standalone.
Cute Things Dying Violently might not be as gory as advertised, but it is a fun casual puzzle game. If you get it, you won’t regret it.
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