Coffin Dodgers, developed by Milky Tea Creative Studios, is a game about elderly people racing cars. That is the entire basis of its appeal, ergo, there is no appeal. What could have been a crazy, fun game, has instead been riddled with weak driving, weirdly shaped courses and a lame story.
The premise is, the Grim Reaper is just doing his job, going about his business, when he finds a town full of elderly people. Doing as he must, he tells the residents that in three days time, he will return to take their souls. However, some of the towns residents wager that they are too young to die, and instead challenge the Grim Reaper to a race! The Grim Reaper, probably thinking about how strangely the events have turned, accepts and so the residents and the Grim Reaper are now racing around the town, with the residents literally fighting for their place in the top three. The idea of this game is obviously meant to be humorous, but it is lost in translation, as you will just find yourself wondering why elderly people thought a genius way to survive death is to race extremely fast, unstable cars.
A personal pet peeve of mine whilst playing a racing game, is racing, what feels like, cars that will just tip over any moment. Games like Gran Turismo and Need for Speed do not feel like this, because the cars are wide enough to feel stable naturally. But I think this is what tipped Mario Kart over the edge of success – the fact that their cars and motorbikes were thin, but felt stable, like they were weighted enough to feel nice to drive. Coffin Dodgers is the opposite. Any moment now, the car is just going to tip over and you are going to do a triple flip off the track. The controls feel too loose, and unnatural to play. Just the tiniest nudge of the analogue stick sends you careening into cones during the tutorial, giving you a quick taste of what not to look forward to. It takes a lot of getting used to, but it should not severely affect you, if you try hard.
Some of the tracks are strangely laid out, with sharp corners that you are not expecting. The first example of this is in the tutorial, even though the cones are laid out to tell you to turn, you have only just started driving so you are not expecting it, with the ‘turn back’ signal suddenly blaring in your face. The sharp corners explain why the cars are so unstable, as you would have a lot of difficulty making them with more controller tension, but that does not make up for the uncomfortable controls.
The soundtrack is loud and boisterous, so much so that I had to rush to turn it down. It is not a terrible soundtrack, but it is not something I would listen to in my own time. It suits the game though, so it works. The graphics need some work, however. This game takes me back to PS2 days, which is not necessarily bad, just not what I want on the PS4.
Overall, this game is not good. Do not waste your time, or your money. If Milky Tea want to make another racing game, they have a lot to work on before they will interest me again. It is up to you whether you let it tarnish your PS4, but in my case, I have already deleted the game off of my game library.
REVIEW CODE: A complimentary Sony Playstation 4 code was provided to Bonus Stage for this review. Please send all review code enquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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