If the only sentence you read in this entire review is the first one, let me just say this: DO NOT BUY THIS GAME! Now that we have that out of the way, let’s begin the roast…uh, review.
Death God University was created by DSK Green Ice Games and was just recently released. It begins with the main character being accepted into the titular school and arriving for his first day. Apparently the goal is to do well in the school and become a Death God Apprentice. You are tasked with completing a tutorial mission which will more or less get you acclimated with what you will be doing for the entirety of the experience. After that, you wander into a classroom and the teacher gives you your first assignment. A rip-off of Hannibal Lector from The Silence of the Lambs fame is butchering various zoo animals in the park and serving them up burger style at his food shack. It is up to you to take him out.
This is how the whole game plays out. After completing a mission you are taken back to the school, wander the one hallway and find the classroom that has its door open. You are then given your next mission and do it all over again. It is incredibly linear with zero room for exploration or mission choice. There are a handful of locations including a subway station, construction yard and cathedral. In the world map you can also change day time to night time and visit each location that way as well. The “villain” you are currently tasked to kill will be at one of the locations and you must go to the other locations to find and craft the items required to defeat them. Problem is, the locations without an item you currently need are locked and there is no experimentation. The specific item is highlighted in blue and you cannot interact with anything else aside from talking to NPCs. It makes each mission virtually the same as the last and takes away any sort of problem solving. Wander around the same levels over and over again just to pick up and craft what the game dictates. It’s awful.
It would be one thing if the stages were massive with a lot to explore and discover, but that is just not the case here. The graphics are subpar at best with very rudimentary and blocky design. The animations are stiff and choppy with the character and stage design being completely uninspired. The sound effects are atrocious as well. As you run around you hear a constant pitter patter of footsteps that becomes so mind numbing and annoying that I wanted to just put my foot through the television set. Something as simple as moving about the world should not be so rage inducing. The music is terrible and lacks any kind of charm, polish, or creativity. There are no voiceovers aside from cringe-worthy grunts and other inhuman squeals.
I also need to mention that I encountered glitches constantly that required rebooting the game. You will get randomly stuck between NPCs and objects at an alarming rate. A section will let you pass between two obstacles, but then you will not be able to get back out. This resulted in long, hateful stares at the situation I repeatedly found myself in before succumbing to the same reboot method I’ve been using for what felt like eternity. Not to mention the load times. Dear sweet heavenly Father the load times. You will spend, at bare minimum, a solid minute in loading screens between stages and cut scenes. The maps are puny and the graphics are so terribly terrible that load times should be instantaneous. It’s incredibly absurd. Cut scenes are a hot mess of pure lunacy and chop around like schizophrenic hummingbirds before abruptly cutting back to the tyrannical loading screen. When a stage finally loads up you will witness everything rendering in for 5-10 seconds. It’s awful. It’s God-awful.
Death God University is boring, broken, repetitive, uninspired, and filled with humor a 5-year old would be appalled at. I beg of you, do not buy this game. Do not even play it if it’s free. I truly tried racking my brain to think of at least one single reason to not give this game the lowest score possible but I was unsuccessful. I understand that time and effort goes into creating any game but I cannot, out of good conscience, recommend this game in any way, shape, or form. With waterboarding outlawed there is room for a new interrogation technique and making someone play this game would be a suiting replacement. You have been warned…this game WILL be the death of you.
REVIEW CODE: A complimentary Microsoft Xbox One code was provided to Brash Games for this review. Please send all review code enquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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